ALL HAIL COBRA

Mmkay so about two or three days ago I went to go see GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra. Before you say ANYTHING I would like to claim truthfully that I saw a few episodes before I saw the movie, but I can't really say too much without knowing anything or this blog will become angry dork bait. I plan to get my hands on a few comics, too. ANYWAY there were two main things I didn't like about the movie. Thing Number One is the fact that The Baroness DOESN'T HAVE A RUSSIAN ACCENT. Now, I don't think anyone can tell how people speak in comics, but she CERTAINLY had an ACCENT in the TV SERIES and the fact that she LACKED ONE made me very ANGRY. SO ANGRY that I'm writing EVERY OTHER PHRASE or so in CAPS.

Anger-causing Item Number Two: Ok, whoever made up the whole "Baroness was American and had a relationship with Duke and(SPOILER ALERT)the creepy guy with the nanite know-how is really her brother but she thinks that Duke let him die and (MORE SPOILER FUN)she ends up with him in the end(sort of)" deal has got some serious guts. FIRST OF ALL she was NOT born in America, she was born to an Austrian baron(if my memory serves me well).
SECONDLY the only time she ever had any romantic relationship with Duke was in a parallel universe(the Joes were teleported to said universe via a Molecular something-or-other ray I kinda forget the name please tell me if you know)when an alternate Baroness was working as a double agent for the Joes against Cobra(in the parallel reality the empire had taken over the world).

My friends, Cobra is way cooler than the Joes and the Baroness brings sexy back(after the plastic surgery which she needed after her HISS army tank blew to pieces of course), am I right? Therefore, I have compiled a list(lol this is a TOTAL nerd rant so far)of things I would like to happen if they make a second installment of GJ movies.
-Baroness escapes with help from Destro
-THEY PUT THE EMBLEM BACK ON HER SUIT
-Baroness is now involved with Destro, they plan to overthrow Cobra
-Storm Shadow comes back(OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE I LOVE YOU SS!!!)
-The story involves the WeatherDom
...That's all I got so far. I don't really care what happens with the Joes, I focus on evil stuff. Cuz everybody knows people on the bad side are the foxiest(Ex. Dominic Sorel)and I'm rooting for the most sexy/most badass/most hardcore side, thank you.

Thus ends my nerd rant. Madhavi if you read this before we went to the movie I swear we are STILL GOING TOGETHER...FOR ME AGAIN AND FOR YOU THE GI VIRGIN! ALL HAIL COBRA!!!

Loyally yours til our shadows stretch taller than Cobra's reign(pfft yeah right)
Maddy-san